I am ignoring the new year while I can. Not because I find it frightening or foreboding. Nor that I have anything wrong with celebrations over more or less arbitrary reasons. I look forward to making new years resolutions that bear striking similarities to all the previous years' ones. And I don't hold particular fondness for this passing year - there are large parts of it I am very glad to see put behind me. I am ignoring the new year as I am not yet finished with the old. I still need about a week or so of debrief to evaluate and analyse my performance. I don't think I will get one. I'll have to settle for a year shoved messily behind me, drawstrings hanging out. The lessons I've learnt will have to be kept in my heart rather than bullet pointed in a yearly review and that's a bit of a pain - my heart's about as well arranged as my room usually is. Finding those lessons isn't going to be easy.
Before tonight I'm going to have to turn around and face the new year. Hopefully I'll have found some reckless optimism by then. This blog may soon be repurposed, but for now here is another poem.
Here come the months that last forever!
come November, come December!
January with your fair weather,
Forget that it's all we remember.
Forgot, thirty thousand afternoons grey,
stirring cups of tea, and if we say
we might or could, perhaps we may
do something, but we won't today
nor well into February.